Looking Forward to 2019

Photo by  Cisco Duarte

Photo by Cisco Duarte

Last year, I spent New Year’s Eve sat in the Emergency Room with my mom as she was hooked up to IVs with no food in either of our stomachs all day. I was hungry and I was exhausted. When we got home later that evening and my mom was resting, I collapsed into my own bed. The New Year came and went and I woke up the next morning feeling, well, numb. This wasn’t how I had imagined ringing in 2018. But looking back on it, it sort of set the precedent for the year. 2018 taught me a great deal about myself and what I want in unexpected ways.

With 2019 here already, my resolution, if it can be called that, is to carry what I learned in 2018, not in a “New Year, New Me” cliché kind of way but rather “New Year, True Me”. In the past, I let the influence of other have greater control over my life and my decisions than they had any right to because I trusted their advice came from a place of love since I love them or because they love me. We’ve all heard someone say “I’m looking out for your best interest” or make you question your actions by saying something along the lines of “what will people think/say”. By allowing others to hold me back, I wasn’t being true to myself. No more.

Hello, 2019. I’m ready for you. Bring it on.